I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
