So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
