just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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