When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
