so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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