Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
