I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
