Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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