I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
