His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
