ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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