I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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