Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
