whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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