I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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