if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize