I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
