I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
