I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize