I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize