Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
