You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
