i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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