My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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