dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
