whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think we might need a safe word for this...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
