Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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