okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
