so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
