His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
pop tarts are not kleenex
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
