You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish I could teleport
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is wine microwaveable?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
