I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
