Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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