How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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