ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
