If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
