i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
