I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize