God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How does one acquire holy water?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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