This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
