i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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