I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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