How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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