I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
