I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
