I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize