Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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