I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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