So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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