I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
