AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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