Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
