Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
home. puking in laundry basket.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
