mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
