Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
