new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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