For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
