One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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