Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
