everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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